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Pet Rules

| October 1, 2012

DEAR CATS

THE DISHES WITH THE PAW PRINT ARE YOURS & CONTAIN YOUR FOOD. THE OTHER DISHES ARE MINE & CONTAIN MY FOOD.PLEASE NOTE, PLACING A PAW PRINT IN THE MIDDLE OF MY PLATE & FOOD DOES NOT STAKE A CLAIM FOR IT BECOMING OUR FOOD & DISH, NOR DO I FIND THAT AESTHTICALLY PLEASING .

THE STAIRWAY WAS NOT DESIGNED BY NASCAR & IS NOT A RACETRACK. BEATING ME TO THE BOTTOM IS NOT THE OBJECT.TRIPPING ME DOESN’T HELP BECAUSE I FALL FASTER THAN YOU CAN RUN. I CANNOT BUY ANYTHING BIGGER THAN A KINGSIZE BED. DO NOT THINK I WILL CONTINUE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TO ENSURE YOUR COMFORT. CATS CAN ACTUALLY CURL UP IN A BALL WHEN THEY SLEEP. IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO STRETCH OUT TO THE FULLEST EXTENT POSSIBLE, WHILE I TRY TO SLEEP ON THE EDGE WITHOUT FALLING. I ALSO KNOW THAT STICKING TAILS STRAIGHT OUT TO MAXIMISE SPACE IS NOTHING BUT ARROGANCE. FOR THE LAST TIME THERE IS NO SECRET EXIT FROM THE BATHROOM. IF IAM IN THERE IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO CLAW, WHINE, MEOW, TRY TO TURN THE KNOB OR GET YOUR PAW UNDER THE EDGE & PULL THE DOOR OPEN. I MUST EXIT THROUGH THE SAME DOOR I ENTERED. ALSO I’VE BEEN USING THE BATHROOM FOR YEARS FELINE ATTENDANCE IS NOT REQUIRED WHILE I AM ON THE TOILET SEAT.

THE PROPER ORDER IS KISS ME, THEN GO SMELL THE OTHER CAT’S BUTT. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.


TO PACIFY YOU, MY DEAR PETS, I HAVE POSTED THE FFG MESSAGE ON OUR FRONT DOOR.

TO ALL NON PET OWNERS WHO  LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS.

THEY LIVE HERE YOU DON’T. IF YOU DON’T WANT THEIR HAIR ON YOUR CLOTHES. STAY OFF THE FURNITURE (THAT’S WHY THEY CALL IT FUR-NITURE).

I LIKE MY PET MORE THAN I LIKE PEOPLE. TO YOU IT’S AN ANIMAL TO ME HE/SHE IS MY CHILD WHO IS SHORT, HAIRY, WALKS ON ALL FOURS & DOESN’T SPEAK CLEARLY. REMEMBER CATS ARE BETTER THAN KIDS

BECAUSE

THEY EAT LESS,DON’T ASK FOR MONEY ALL THE TIME,ARE EASIER TO TRAIN, COME WHEN CALLED SOMETIMES, NEVER ASK TO DRIVE THE CAR,DON’T HANG OUT WITH DRUG USING FRIENDS, DON’T SMOKE OR DRINK, DON’T INVITE DESTRUCTIVE FRIENDS OVER , DON’T DEMAND THE LATEST FASHIONS. DON’T ASK TO WEAR YOUR CLOTHES, DON’T NEED A GAZILLION DOLLARS FOR COLLEGE HERE’S THE BEST PART IF THEY GET PREGNANT YOU CAN SELL THEIR CHILDREN

POSTED BY PET LOVER     
ROXY KAYAT

Category: Feline Resources

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